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When you have started living a new season of love in your life how likely are you to get surety about the true character and behaviour of your boyfriend. It is ironic when love birds are madly in love with each other they end up stating things like “you are the love of my life” sounds merry in the beginning and in reality the same love birds find that a nightmare after a while.
This is for a simple reason that some people turn out to be jerks over time or they already were but you could either never find out or you never wanted to acknowledge it.
Strangely enough, when you are at the start of your relationship you will never know if you can go a long way with that person unless you do not experience the different hues the two of you show to each other in a relationship.
Talking of hues, it means good and bad in both of you. If all your experiences are going bad with your boyfriend although you have made your side of adjustments it could be that he is being an utter jerk and you are not sure of it.
Everything said and done, you cannot judge your boyfriend based on quick assumptions, you need to introspect his behaviour towards you and the relationship. The introspection will do all the talking. That said, stay alert and read through this article to learn the signs that your boyfriend is a jerk and get your facts right.
Read: 10 Fantastic Ways To Have A Good Relationship With Your Boyfriend – Be A Nice Girl Friend!
11 Clear Signs That Prove Your Boyfriend Is A Big Time Jerk – Stay Alert!
It is not that only men are jerks. One cannot be gender biased about the fact that only men are jerks, at times women are jerks too, cannot put the blame on the men only. That said, for now, let’s look at some of the signs that clearly show that your boyfriend is being a total jerk.
Well, no guy carries a tag of being a jerk, it so happens that only after a while you get a reality check. Basically, you got to observe how is his attitude towards you as a person and when it comes to giving in the relationship. You cannot gauge it at the start, but you need to notice him after you have spent a considerable amount of time together.
Men can be defending about their actions even if they know they are going wrong they would barely agree. It is you who has to take over the reins if you think you are not given the respect or value you deserve for being in the relationship. Take a look at the signs!
Sign No 1 – Talking To Him Is Good As Talking To The Walls
It is basic to be heard in a relationship, if you are never heard or your talks get heard from one ear and it gets out of the other it makes no sense to talk, if you cannot talk to your boyfriend what’s the point of being in a relationship?
You need not even think about it the second time that he is being a total jerk if you see that your boyfriend gives deaf ears to you and he is never there when you want to be heard. You could at times understand if he is unable to hear you out if he is pre-occupied or for that matter too engrossed with something important. But you need not be the understanding one always and you don’t deserve to be taken for granted.
Listening to you is basic and a really small thing. If you do not get ears to listen to you then your relationship might not go the long way. Let him know about what you feel.
Sign No 2 – He Does Not Bother To Respect You
Respect is what we expect from any human even if that person is not related to us. Would you like it? if someone behaved inappropriately with you in public? That would offend you, wouldn’t it? When an outsider can bug you, how would you feel if your own boyfriend cannot give you that basic respect.
How would you understand that he does not respect you? When you see that he does not understand your views, he does not consider what you like, he forgets basic courtesy, if he abuses you for nothing, if he forces you upon his interests and if he taints your image in front of his friends, he is absolutely being disrespectful.
Ladies! You cannot have a let go attitude if you do not get respect in a relationship, do not give in to it or allow your boyfriend to do that to you because if you let that happen today it will continue happening always.
Read: How To Stop Fighting In A Relationship
Sign No 3 – He Shows Love To You Based On His Moods
Why would you want to be the second option in a relationship? Or someone who can be loved or ignored based on the opposite person’s mood and need. That is not a good sign of respect or real love in a relationship.
You cannot justify that he is not a jerk when he gives you attention if he is in a good mood and totally abandons you when he is in a bad mood. Yes, considering that none of us are perfect we all make mistakes and at times unknowingly do that to our partners. Yet, it should not be happening all the time, it is just as good as getting used.
If he is totally clueless of how he is supposed to behave with you and love you and he ends up treating you like you mean nothing then you should not let that happen. If you are allowing yourself to get used you are being the biggest fool.
Sign No 4 – When He Leaves No Chance Of Showing Chauvinism
No doubt in the fact that we used to live in a male dominated society and over time things changed. Today, women are coming in par with men and if your boyfriend thinks no end of himself, he is leaving no chance in being a jerk.
You will clearly know that he is being a total chauvinist if he restricts you or buts in to tell you that maybe you are not fit for a task because that only suits men and he ends up never even considering if you have equally good qualities and talent like he does. If your boyfriend cannot appreciate you and ever agree that you are better than him on so many other aspects, he is showing away all his chauvinism.
You should always take a stand for yourself in this situation and let him know that he is good his way and you are good your way.
Sign No 5 – When You Do Not Have A Say In The Relationship
Would you ever like it if your boyfriend told you to just follow his ways and expects you to believe and do what he thinks is right. Even if you want to have your say, he is ready to cut you off. How can one not consider that boyfriend a jerk if he keeps doing it?
In a relationship, both must have an equal say and be open enough to correct each other as well. Being in a relationship where you cannot express your inputs and you just have to let your boyfriend lead you then you were better of living by yourself, isn’t it? If he does not allow you to make decisions on what the two of you should eat, what the two of you should do during the weekend and when it comes to him you have to listen and cannot refuse just like he does, he is a clear jerk.
If you do not have a say in the relationship it can get suffocating in time to come and we are all born to live free and be happy, no one has a say and right on deciding everything for us. Do not let him not let you have a say in the relationship, do not surrender to what is wrong.
Sign No 6 – When He Is Sarcastic And Hurtful As Hell
You need to know that you are dating a jerk if he can never stop himself on being sarcastic and making fun of your flaws by being super hurtful. Fun and sarcasm can be taken when it does not go overboard. How can a boyfriend or anyone dare to do that with you.
You need to be smart enough and understand when he is joking and when is he taunting you. Sometimes you would have hurt him and just to give it back to you he must be behaving that way, you can let it go when you have made a mistake too. However, that does not mean your boyfriend gets a chance to be sarcastic and hurtfully humorous.
One instance, say suppose you are healthy and you want to try a new outfit, instead of encouraging you that you should go for it if you like it. If he says something like, you can buy it only if it fits you, he is being sarcastic and a big jerk. Your boyfriend should be kind enough on how to put across his views.
Sign No 7 – He Is Always Desperate To Have Sex
Just because he is your boyfriend it does not mean he can have sex with you whenever he wants and treats you as his medium to have his physical pleasures met. Dating a guy like this is as good as being available for him. You do not have to be. If your boyfriend does not consider that you are not comfortable to have sex either because you are not in a mood or he is like he wants what he wants, he is being a big jerk.
It is quintessential to have physical intimacy in a relationship but that does not mean that a guy can force you and no consider that you need your space too. It is totally wrong if this is the case. Do not keep calm and let him do what he wants. Say it if you do not like it.
Sign No 8 – Unhealthy Flirting Outside The Relationship Becomes His Habit
No girlfriend would like it if her boyfriend is always flirting with other girls in an unhealthy way. It is understandable that a man would want to flirt in a healthy way if he finds someone attractive. You can understand and give him that space to an extent that he would like to compliment her. However, if your boyfriend is flirting in an unhealthy manner with every girl possible it simply means you are dating a jerk.
Loyalty is basic in a relationship, if he cannot be loyal to you, how can you ever fight your insecurities while you are with him. It is not right on any boyfriends part to play around with other women when he haves his woman with him. Be aware of a jerk like that.
If you find him scanning other women and looking at someone else when he is with you it means that he has lost all his sense and decency to behave that way around the woman who loves him.
Read: Relationship Goals That Show Immense Love And Trust
Sign No 9 – When Criticizing You Becomes His Hobby
When your boyfriend criticizes you for your looks, your behaviour, your capabilities and all your actions, he is anything but a jerk. Why do people get into a relationship? To be loved, taken care of and find true friendship in the relationship. Only if your man knew how to celebrate you would you feel nice about being with him, isn’t it?
That said, if your boyfriend does not like you for who you are and asks you to change, if he is never satisfied for all that you do for the relationship and no matter how you behave or what you do he is ready to point fingers at you. If you have met a man like this, it is sad because you would end up getting negative about your oneself in the long run.
Sign No 10 – When He Compares You To Other Women Not Realizing He Isn’t Perfect
Everyone needs to understand the fact that we are all not perfect at similar things. The world would be a better place only if we could understand that everyone has their qualities of being perfect and imperfect. You are dating a jerk if he is not sensible enough to evaluate that he is no perfect if he is expecting perfection from you and if he starts to compare you to other women he is making the worst mistake.
If he always says you could have had a hairstyle like my friend or it would have been great if you could carry yourself like that woman it means he just does no understand how beautiful you are as a person. You need to distance yourself from a boyfriend who does that. Comparison can have total bad effects on your mental well being.
Sign No 11 – When He Only Knows How To Be Mad At You
It is a clear sign that your boyfriend is a jerk if he is always frustrated and mad at you. A man should know how to keep his calm and for a change thinks about how would you feel to receive anger from him. If your boyfriend cannot keep his mental balance and thinks that he can shout at you to get relieved of his frustration then you are tied to a wrong man.
If his reasons to be mad at you are valid, it is okay if he expresses his anger. But, if he is taking advantage of the fact that you are being kind enough to hear him all the time and he keeps dumping his anger on you then you need to give it back to him, unless you don’t he will continue doing it and you are going to land up being hurt all the time.
In conclusion, having looked at the signs that your boyfriend is a total jerk, you should know how to address it to him or walk away if he is not someone who can improve on himself.
You do not need to date a jerk who does not hear you, you does not consider what you feel, who dominates you and suffocates you, who just thinks of what he wants, who thinks that you are not as good as him and who has every possible means of making you feel low about yourself. Rather date a man who does none of this and make a world where the two of you know how to love and respect each other.
Walk Away From A Boyfriend Who Wrongs You!