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Some links in this article are affiliate links. We may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through these links, at no extra cost to you. We only recommend products we find useful to our readersHaving children is not all that rosy, just ask the new parents how they feel about parenting is all rainbows and sunshine. Nevertheless! There is no self-expression, self-connect and self-assessment as a human than being a parent. You begin learning new things about life, relationships and even for yourself too. But how do couples decide whether to have children? As we ourselves may not feel it right yet and keep thinking when exactly is the right time for deciding to have a baby.
So for all those confused about should, I have kids, we have you covered. And for those who think why to have kids, when we are sufficient for each other; there will always be that gap where you won’t find anything that fits in well. Your emotional self will always think of life with kids, how parenting could be and what am I missing.
Some important tips to help you decide to have children:
Having children is just not an impulsive decision as starting a family needs a lot of commitment, dedication and urge to be a parent. Just because everyone else was having kids, you cant get inspired to have your own, or even if you do; you need to weigh in your own situation to see if it is the right time. Deciding should I have a baby is a major life choice, and there is no right or wrong answer. Just think about your life’s goals, your partner’s aspirations, your relationship status, and your financial situation first before deciding to have a baby. As it is not just all rainbows, you have to be prepared and equipped well for hardships that come along.
Some tips on how couple decide to have children:
Couples usually begin with sharing their own feelings first and then weighing in the positives and not so good aspects in their lives. And then comes the major task, to figure out the support system around. For raising a child is not just all mom and dad but there must be some more people to help you bring up a happy and healthy child. Check some tips to consider before deciding to have a baby:
1- Evaluate for yourself first:
Check your health and age, also your professional commitments first. All the above will play a major role in you trying to conceive. What level of stability are you in currently, and will taking time off work affect your career or not. Also is your health feasible to sustain a life within you. And how is your lifestyle. Check for if your relationship maturity and health, with your partner.
2- Are you ready for the commitment:
No this isn’t the usual commitment which you made with your partner, but it is much beyond that. It is actually a commitment for life to sacrifice all your selfish reasons and think for the child before self. All the love, care, and resources you will need to put in until at least the kid enters college. And all the ups and downs involved in the developmental years of a child, for every child is their own special person.
3- Check your current life events:
Sometimes a sudden crisis in life drives you to think about having a child and not any emotional gap or urge for a child. You may have recovered from a sudden injury or you have seen some sudden departure in your close circle which prompted you to think of having your own child who will be there for you all the time.
4- You have heard someone say, children, mend damaged relationships:
You seem to have come at the verge of either breaking up or just separating from your partner and you can’t let it happen. For you loved him so much once and dreamt an entire life through eternity. And there you hear someone saying that a child can bring you two close together again. Suddenly a child becomes the life boat to rescue your sinking relationship.
5- Consider not having children for a moment:
Imagine yourself not having children ever. And how your relationship, lifestyle, social circle and years ahead would be. Do you picture yourself alone or with a child and if you do picture alone then are you happy staying just the two of you always. And how having a child can affect your career, personal interests and hobbies also relationships ahead
6- Check if you are pressurized to take this decision:
Being under pressure and making a choice is just like making a bad choice. You must be away from any pressure or force from family, society or your partner. For having a child is your choice and you ought to make it as perfect as you can
7- Check your current situation:
Your health, finances, liquidity and career situation must all be well evaluated. For you need to have at least a home and some decent source of income to sustain one more life. Your bank balance must be strong and you must have some sort of liquidity.
8- Discuss with your partner now:
You should now sit with your partner and discuss how you feel. Remember to tell him how you have analyzed your situation and wish to have a child now. Be open to discussions and accept what he has to say. Is he is more
9- Get medical examination done:
After you both feel this is the right time to have kids, go ahead with medical examination for health condition plays a major role in happy and smooth pregnancy. Also get yourself ahead with pre-conception counseling regarding your desire for pregnancy. The do’s and dont’s about pregnancy and how to go about it. Also, share all your health conditions even the stress and anxieties you may have. Your family health history and your biological condition will help establishing your further course of action.
10- Begin adding up to comfort at home:
If you have already planned for having a child by now, start adding comfort and peace to your home. You must get ample free time and also be relaxed as this is just not quick, it takes awhile before you can actually bring your baby home.
Why not to have kids:
Well to each his own, not everyone likes the idea of a baby in arms. And it is not really necessary for everyone to just get pregnant. Some reasons why couples do not have babies:
- They are too busy in their own careers and do not have any time for raising a baby
- They may not be happy in their relationship and do not want any more commitments in the already broken bond
- There may be some biological condition which is preventing them from conceiving and they still have not thought about adoption
- The couples hate the idea of changing diapers all night and do not wish to leave their comfort zone
- The couples are too happy in their own lives with each other and just don’t want any distraction.
Not having a baby is a personal choice for couples and do not comment on others situations, for some people find themselves complete and satiated with their life. For them, a quick answer is why do people have children when all you get is more burdens ahead. It is wise to feel for them but stand by your own decision and be firm. You would have a series of ups and downs ahead and parenting is not just that simple.
Share ahead and keep writing us, we love hearing from you!
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